Forgiveness

'Holding a grudge is like swallowing rat poison and waiting for the other person to die'

So, for all intents and purposes, a grudge hurts you. No one else. I'm not going to pretend I know a lot about Christianity. I took my first steps into becoming a fully fledged Christian a mere 24 hours ago and am learning, through the aid of Google and a good friend what I should be doing. But forgiveness is one of the key things, for me, that leaves a big old dirty smut right across my soul.

I am stubborn. Very stubborn. If (I perceive) someone has wronged me than that's it. They're gone and forgotten. I'll haphazardly block and shun people on Facebook. Then bitch and moan about them and use other friends profiles to stalk, to feel righteously slandered, angered and therefore bitch some more. But, and deep breath, it is time for me to move on. To realise it is not down to me to judge people. I have been, and am frequently, forgiven, by my friends, family and God. For not making it to baby group, for calling my husband a tosspot and, in a much, much larger way, for damaging myself.

Forgiveness is hard, and particularly uncomfortable. It goes against all my natural instincts to not cling onto these wrongs. But, to cleanse myself and keep a shiny soul I am inhaling deeply, wrapping those nasty feelings of bitterness into that breath and blowing them out. Gone. God can judge them now.

Matthew 6:14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you (attitude: forgive because you love the Lord)